Who the heck can talk for 30 minutes?

Picture it, Nashville 2009. A fair technologically competent woman sits down in from of her computer in order to create a new podcast. She is very excited about this podcast and has been thinking about it for weeks. The time has come and she is ready. Okay, go. No really, GO! No, that didn't work. Okay, maybe if she googles podcasting that will help. Okay, maybe if she googles podcasting on a mac that will be even better. Okay, maybe...

You get the picture. After searching for a good thirty minutes I decided on using garage band as my podcast creator. I had never used garage band before, so it was a whole new experience. I did a few test runs and was getting more comfortable as time went on. So it was time to sit down and just... talk. But wait! I totally need music. Every good podcast has music, right?! Thirty more minutes of searching for free podcast-safe music I was ready for action. So now it was time to sit down and just... talk?

Wow! I did not realize how hard talking to your computer was. I mean I am a great talker, maybe even borderline obnoxious so why is it so difficult to just talk? I am interested in the topic, I know what I want to say, but each time I get super flustered and end up editing out more than I actually put in the podcast.

Alright, plan B = script! So thirty more minutes later I have written out a very beautiful script. It is funny, entertaining, and definitely aimed towards teens. I mean, I even wrote out the word "like" to seem authentic. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, back to garage band I go. "Hi my name is Kim and you are listening to READ-hab bla bla bla bla bla bla bla (you get the jist)." I read the script flawlessly! I mean I emphasized the correct points, I used emotion like Merryl Streep on steroids, and I didn't have to stop the recording once. I was so proud of myself and was about to celebrate with a victory diet coke when I looked down at the time --WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT IS ONLY 10:46 long! There definitely has to be a mistake. I mean that recording was at least 20 minutes long! There are musical interludes and everything!

Then it hit me... of course it is my computer. I probably didn't download garage band correctly. So back I trek to Google, only to find out that garage band is already installed on the mac once you buy it. Darn it! So after literally staring at the script for ten long minutes I decided that there is no way a person can physically talk to their computer for 30 straight minutes. All of those hour long podcasts are multiple people talking or computerized. Yeah, that's it. People are podcast cheaters. And besides, it is better to have ten minutes of great material rather than 30 minutes of crap. This is also the first podcast. The introduction is always the shortest. When I move on to the actual material they will get longer, and this time I will already start with a script.

Time spent on podcast:

30 minutes searching google

30 minutes searching music

30 minutes writing script

1:30 minutes recording

20 minutes trying to "fix" garage band

10 minutes brooding

20 minutes figuring out how to burn podcast to a disk

TOTAL: 3:50

Also, whoever gets the reference in the first sentence gets a gold star!